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'No matter how much you talk, if there is no understanding there is no communication'
Have you ever asked yourself, why do we communicate?
I think the world would be a better place if everybody knew the answer deep down.
There are different ways to look at it but there is only 1 reason that people communicate.
1) To share (opinion, knowledge, feelings, emotions...etc)
There are only two things that make it worthwhile even trying to communicate:
1) To understand
2) To be understood
If these two goals are not met, there is no point in communicating. Because real communication cannot exist without these two key elements.
Have you ever noticed how often we are lost in translation?
Too many people haven't noticed because they are too busy saying what they have to say or understanding what they want to understand.
Unfortunately, in the world we live in, real communication is becoming extinct. Ego has taken such a big place within the modern human being (at least in the west) that too often the aim of conversations have become fights; fights to be right. Fights to overpower and undermine the others opinion. It is so well hidden that most people are not even aware of it. Of course, you have the obvious egocentric person, but you also have the more subtle kind of people....
How many times, when you were just trying to express your opinion has someone said to you, “I agree" or "I do not agree"? Why is there such a need to take sides, why is there such a need to approve or to feel approved of?
Of course, it is ok to agree or disagree with someone, however too often it is done with too much haste because they have not taken the time to really understand what was being said.
Often, when someone agrees with you, they only really classify what you are saying with what they already know. If it sits well with their current way of thinking they accept it, otherwise they reject it. It has nothing to do with THE truth but everything to do with their own truth.
They are not ready to learn and to share, this is why often when someone says "I don't agree" often, they don't know it, but they mean "I don't understand".
Before agreeing with someone or disagreeing with someone, one should always go through the process of wondering 'what do YOU mean?'. Because as I said the point is not to have people agree, but first and foremost to understand.
How can you agree or disagree with someone if you have not understood them first?
Don't you have people telling you 'I agree with you' even when you feel that they haven't understood you? They just assumed that what you were saying is what they would mean if they were saying it.
It is quite paradoxical but ultimately, to understand someone, you have to 'agree'/empathize with them, at least on their level, so that you know fully where they are coming from. This process allows us to go beyond our own little thinking; we can start thinking outside the box.
For a while, you should try to agree with someone you naturally would disagree with, not to please them but simply to try to fully understand them, only then, you will know what they mean, at their own level. After that you can say 'I know what you mean...but I don't see it that way!' or maybe 'Actually I never thought of it that way...food for thought!'.
So, to some extent, you have to agree with someone to understand them, if you do not agree with that statement...maybe you have not understood me! ;-)
(Thank you for reading. Please share this article on facebook and other social networks it would help us tremendously!)
To chat about this post on the forum: Click here
I think the world would be a better place if everybody knew the answer deep down.
There are different ways to look at it but there is only 1 reason that people communicate.
1) To share (opinion, knowledge, feelings, emotions...etc)
There are only two things that make it worthwhile even trying to communicate:
1) To understand
2) To be understood
If these two goals are not met, there is no point in communicating. Because real communication cannot exist without these two key elements.
Have you ever noticed how often we are lost in translation?
Too many people haven't noticed because they are too busy saying what they have to say or understanding what they want to understand.
Unfortunately, in the world we live in, real communication is becoming extinct. Ego has taken such a big place within the modern human being (at least in the west) that too often the aim of conversations have become fights; fights to be right. Fights to overpower and undermine the others opinion. It is so well hidden that most people are not even aware of it. Of course, you have the obvious egocentric person, but you also have the more subtle kind of people....
How many times, when you were just trying to express your opinion has someone said to you, “I agree" or "I do not agree"? Why is there such a need to take sides, why is there such a need to approve or to feel approved of?
Of course, it is ok to agree or disagree with someone, however too often it is done with too much haste because they have not taken the time to really understand what was being said.
Often, when someone agrees with you, they only really classify what you are saying with what they already know. If it sits well with their current way of thinking they accept it, otherwise they reject it. It has nothing to do with THE truth but everything to do with their own truth.
They are not ready to learn and to share, this is why often when someone says "I don't agree" often, they don't know it, but they mean "I don't understand".
Before agreeing with someone or disagreeing with someone, one should always go through the process of wondering 'what do YOU mean?'. Because as I said the point is not to have people agree, but first and foremost to understand.
How can you agree or disagree with someone if you have not understood them first?
Don't you have people telling you 'I agree with you' even when you feel that they haven't understood you? They just assumed that what you were saying is what they would mean if they were saying it.
It is quite paradoxical but ultimately, to understand someone, you have to 'agree'/empathize with them, at least on their level, so that you know fully where they are coming from. This process allows us to go beyond our own little thinking; we can start thinking outside the box.
For a while, you should try to agree with someone you naturally would disagree with, not to please them but simply to try to fully understand them, only then, you will know what they mean, at their own level. After that you can say 'I know what you mean...but I don't see it that way!' or maybe 'Actually I never thought of it that way...food for thought!'.
So, to some extent, you have to agree with someone to understand them, if you do not agree with that statement...maybe you have not understood me! ;-)
(Thank you for reading. Please share this article on facebook and other social networks it would help us tremendously!)
To chat about this post on the forum: Click here
Other interesting posts
- How to open your mind
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Click here to see all blog entries
- How to open your mind
- Live your dreams (comics/article)
- How to create a strong relationship (video/article)
Click here to see all blog entries
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THE REASON WE COMMUNICATE
by Patrice Turlet
by Patrice Turlet
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Freedom 2 Be ltd.
Ground floor, 2 Woodberry Grove, North Finchley, N12 0DR, London, United Kingdom
Registered number: 07561006
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